Dreams and Desires

Our longings and our dreams inspire us to reach beyond our present resting place.  But often, we lack the confidence to follow our dreams and achieve what is possible for us.  The guidance of our desires is true and when we accept the inspiration they offer, we will find the strength to follow them.  I resolve to be attentive to my dreams and to invite the courage I need to pursue them.

Authenticity

For such a long time, my boundaries were so weak I did not know who I was or what I stood for.  I failed the test of authenticity and took the opinion of the last person to speak.  By listening to my soul, my true self, I am able to form my own opinions and walk in integrity.  I resolve to be true to myself.

Recovery

In the midst of our recovery, it is easy to be shortsighted about the value of today’s experiences.  What we can see with clarity when we look backward gets lost in our daily turmoil.  But we can trust with certainty that each experience helps us toward our healing.  I will not get lost in the turbulence of daily ups and downs but will remember how far I’ve come and know that, day by day, I am getting stronger and better.

Self-love

Those of us with depression have neglected the health of our inner lives.  Through self-abuse and shaming, we have come to suppress our spirits.  Our dissatisfaction with ourselves pervades our lives.  But we can learn to love ourselves and realize the value that inheres in our very being.  I commit to make the effort and show the patience needed to rebuild my spirit.

Anxiety

In my deep depression, anxiety often kept me immobile.  Overwhelming fear of the unknown made it hard for me to take action, any action.  But no action is wholly wrong, especially when it is guided by my soul.  And one action makes those that follow easier to take.  When I am anxious, I resolve to act, knowing that doing so can lift me from my anxiety and my frozen state.

Self-worth

As persons with low self-esteem, those of us with depression invite others to treat us badly.  And we often let their treatment deepen our depression.  But no ill treatment, no outside circumstance need depress us.  For no condition outside of us can ever offer the security or happiness we long for.  They may uplift us momentarily but they can’t provide a permanent enhancement.  Only we can provide that for ourselves.  I will look inside for my self-worth and security, for I know that only I can give them to myself.

Depression

I did not expect to experience depression, both the overt major depression of the last decade or the covert depression that preceded it.  The overt depression–after my crash–saved my life from a continuation of the hell of living an unhappy life while covertly depressed.  It was a hard way to do it, but it gave me back my life.

Victimhood

As depressed persons, we know the role of the victim.  We’ve been hurt by life’s many injustices and we’ve waited passively for things to change.  Maybe we drank or drugged to hide our pain.  But whether or not we acknowledge it, we have been active participants in our own victimhood.  We have a choice–to live lives of responsibility or to remain stuck in victimhood.  I choose to accept what life has given me and to take full responsibility for my attitudes and my actions.

Acceptance

In my depression, I found it hard to be accepting and I tried to control circumstances to manage their outcomes.  But each day, I am learning to trust the wisdom of the universe and to accept myself a little more, just as I am.  This acceptance leads me toward greater serenity.

Egocentrism

Like most people, self-centeredness and egocentrism have governed much of my life.  I have judged others by how their lives affect mine and weighed their worth, and mine, accordingly.  But the world does not revolve around me.  And the opinions of others do not determine my worth.  I will look to my own soul for my value and to their hearts to value others.